I was rejected from each of the PhD programs to which I had applied. I became overwhelmed by my hectic schedule and vainly tried to control any aspect of my life, or Howard legacy, I thought I could. Word to the wise: When life spins out of control, let it and cling to Jesus. Nevertheless, I graduated and moved home, breaking a vow I had previously made to myself in arrogance. I felt incredibly discouraged.  I had accomplished so much, but now it all seemed for naught. I was another of those living-at-home-at-21 college graduates. My foreseeable future was bleak with no money, no job, and no graduate school prospects. I neglected to remember, or maybe cherish, the intangible gifts I did have, whose value I now realize is far greater than what I “lacked”.

God sent me into a desert season in order to humble me, and test my reliance on Him when waves rise. In the 3 short months since graduation, God has begun increasing my ability to give Him total control and trust His sovereign will.  He knew I needed to come home; partially to have boundaries for the impassioned enigma of post-graduation, and partially to continue maturing. His methods included pensively sunbathing on foreign beaches, verbally declaring my adult independence, battling with submissiveness in my new life stage, discerning when to be silent, and addressing my juvenile, oversized wardrobe.